


A Sorrowful Song of the Heart

by CiellaAnderson



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Genderbend, I Made Myself Cry, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Mental Instability, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24840484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CiellaAnderson/pseuds/CiellaAnderson
Summary: Munakata Reisi regretted everything that happened on that day.Genderbent!Munakata x Suoh.
Relationships: Fem Munakata Reishi/Sooh Mikoto, Fushimi Saruhiko/Yata Misaki (mentioned), Munakata Reishi/Suoh Mikoto
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	A Sorrowful Song of the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This was a work from 2014 exported from Wattpad.

She stared at the book with empty eyes.

Everything is a constant blur to her.

She couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything and couldn't feel anything. It's as if she is a dead person except she is breathing and awake.

Those memories of HIS death haunts her. It doesn't matter if she's in dreamland or not. All that matters is that what happened that one snowy day would always remain in her mind and would continue to plague her with nightmares of harsh reality.

A blonde girl with cold blue eyes comes to visit her that afternoon. The woman looks at her knowingly and sighs in slight disappointment.

_She's still as a lifeless doll._

It's a contrast to her attitude as the ex-captain of Scepter 4. Munakata Reisi has been a lively woman despite her calm and ordered nature. Even though many thought of her as an insensitive woman due to her position, the blonde girl knew better than to believe those rumors.

After all, she is Awashima Seri. Munakata Reisi's ex-vice- captain.

She's been around the bluenette for so long that she could have sworn she have already memorized her superior's entire routine, from attitude to appearance.

Yet again, there's only one part she couldn't read nor decipher. It's _THAT_ part _THAT_ man brought with him to his own grave.

Munakata Reisi's heart.

Yes. No matter how hard she reaches for it, there's that barrier barricading it from being entered. That was before. Now, as she tries again, she couldn't reach anything at all. It's as if there's a hollow part that when she tries, it goes through like thin air. It hurts to know that she couldn't even help her with what Reisi's going through right now.

Seri placed the paper bag on the table and started unpacking its contents. It's rare for her to bring food when she's visiting but after finding out that Reisi won't eat anything unless it's sweet, she found herself obliged to bring.

She placed one slice of strawberry shortcake on a plate and grabbed the bottle of juice on her way to Reisi's place. With gentle movements, she sat down across her and waited to be noticed.

As per usual, the woman slowly lifted her gaze and held it there for a few minutes as if she's processing the identity of the visitor. A few minutes passed and her eyes widened a bit but noticeably dull and...dead.

It scared Seri to no end but she couldn't do anything to change it and the fact frustrates her just like how she can't reach her heart.

"Awashima-kun...?" Came the soft whisper.

Even her voice--- It's as if everything that made her who she was before disappeared as well on that snowy day. That slight tang of bitterness for THAT man doubles. 

It's HIM who messed up everything. It's HIM who took away the only family she had. It's HIM who destroyed everything and Seri couldn't do anything about it.

She felt useless and wanted to end up the same just like her superior. However, she realized she couldn't. She realized the mistake Munakata committed even before she could even follow.

Munakata Reisi failed to see the people who cared for her.

That's the mistake she couldn't afford to commit because she knew--

She knew that she will leave many people behind. People who loved and cared for her. People who would bothered to remember her just like what she's doing right now.

Munakata Reisi needed her and she won't leave her just like what HE did.

"Yes, it's me, Taichou."

Seri could have sworn she saw a ghost of a smile. It's just like all the smiles she's seen after that day.

A smile that held no meaning. Hollow. Empty. Just like her heart.

"Thank you as always." Reisi said in what could have been air passing by. It's as if she's scared that she'll disturb something if her voice goes up any further. It's something Seri couldn't figure out until now.

Seri forced a smile but deep inside, her heart painfully wrench at those words. She used to be proud whenever she hears that phrase from her superior but given the circumstances now, it is something she loathes to hear. To her, those 'thank yous' felt goodbyes-- That anytime, Reisi would just leave them and never come back.

But of course, she couldn't afford her superior seeing the weakness of her heart and thus, she smiled albeit strained. "It's nothing, Taichou. Here, please eat."

The bluenette placed the book on the bedside table and took the plate of cake. Her amethyst orbs scanned the food then slowly lifted the fork to start eating.

Seri noticed how much Reisi changed. It's not because her hair reaches the ground now nor the weight loss. Her movements lacked its precision now. She used to move in a fast, clean motion. It's what Seri admires back then.

But now, her movements seemed tired. Sloppy. Dead. 

It sent shivers down her spine.

She harshly shook her head and tried to dig her mind for anything other than her previous thoughts. That's when she remembered a wonderful news that just arrived this morning.

"I have the most wonderful news about Fushimi, Taichou." She started with a soft smile.

It caught the other's attention, lifting her gaze with a small glint of interest. Fushimi is, after all, like a son to Reisi even though the third-in-command can be rude sometimes.

Seri couldn't resist a smile when she caught that glint. She just knew that Reisi will be proud just as she is.

"He is finally getting married."

Munakata sighed, her smile, for the first time, genuine. It almost made Seri cry at how peaceful her superior looked with that smile. It's as if she's looking at a vintage picture, the nostalgia tugging at her heart strings was quite unbearable.

"I assume that it's _HER_ , correct?"

Seri nodded, "Yes. To Yatagarasu of all people. But I've got to thank that troublemaker. She changed Fushimi for good."

"I'm happy for them. Yata-chan is a wonderful woman. She's the only one who can control such a wild beast." Reisi couldn't keep the fondness in her voice. Yata Misaki held a special place in Fushimi and THAT man's heart. With that, the brash girl gained a special place in hers too.

"Aren't you going to attend?" Seri asked. Despite the obvious answer, she still hoped Reisi wouldn't dare miss her 'son's' wedding.

However, the simple drop of smile crushed all her hopes for such a happy reunion. She knew the answer from the beginning yet she dared to get her hopes up.

"You know I can't. Please congratulate them for me, Awashima-kun. That's the least I can do."

When Seri left that evening with the congratulatory message heavy in her mind, Reisi stared at her retreating figure from the only window in her room.

When Reisi can't see her anymore, she turned her gaze to the city lit with millions of multicolored lights. It looked really beautiful from her place but there are memories of this view that made her take a step back.

Sheclutched her forehead tightly and fell on the bed with a soft thud. Tears streamed down her face as bittersweet memories came flooding in.

That's when she felt a hand on her back.

The tears came flooding again. It felt real but she knew in herself that the familiar sensations couldn't be real. Not anymore. Not anymore because HE's gone.

"Please...Go away. Leave me alone." She pleaded with a shaky voice. She couldn't trust her voice to sound firm anymore. It would take a soul, THAT SOUL, to bring back that old, headstrong woman she was years ago.

' _Are you afraid?_ '

"Yes. Leave me alone."

' _But I'm here, Reisi. Look at me._ '

'No. Please.'

' _Look at me. I won't hurt you. Not anymore._ '

"Not anymore?"

' _Yes_.'

Reisi hesitated but decided to finally give in. She slowly lifted her head, taking the time to open her tear-filled eyes.

Once her vision cleared, she couldn't stop the tears from falling continuously.

The vibrant red hair.

The golden hue of his eyes.

The unmistakable scent of cigarette.

It's all him.

It's Suoh Mikoto. The red king.

**Her Mikoto**.

"You can't be real. You're dead. You can't be. Can't be." She turned away again, shaking her head in denial.

Reisi denies HIS existence. She wanted to believe that it's all an illusion caused by her own messed up mind. She wanted to believe that it's just because of her loneliness that this illusion came up to her.

...Yet part of her wanted to believe that he's real.

' _Look at me, Reisi_.'

"No! LEAVE ME ALONE! Leave me...alone..." She cried out in frustration as she buried her face into the soft confines of her pillow.

She could hear the sigh that followed. The rustling faded a few seconds later but she continued crying, hoping that it will give her a dreamless sleep.

A small squeak came out of her when she felt the other side of the bed dip in weight and the warm hands caressing her back.

Warm. Very warm just like when HE was alive.

' _Can you feel it?'_

She couldn't believe the sensation. The hand that used to hold her felt real when it's supposed to be gone.

"Why are you here...?" She asked in a whispered manner. Although she refuses to acknowledge the ghostly presence, she couldn't help the frustrated curiousity eating at her.

Reisi figured out that talking to an apparition wouldn't cost her anything drastic anymore especially in her current condition. She could at least indulge herself in this imaginary presence to make her less lonely.

Suoh Mikoto smirked like the old times yet his eyes held this gentle look that's always reserved for this one particular bluenette.

' _You wanted me..._ '

"Oh, really?" She scoffed. It was a bad joke.

She wanted him badly yet she never told anyone. Not even to voice it out to herself. She must be going insane.

' _You said so yourself. You would always cry over the simplest memories of us...That's enough proof. Besides,_ ' He moved his hand to her head to thread through blue locks. At this familiar action, Reisi couldn't help but flinch at the sudden movement.

' _You still love me after all these years._ '

That brought forth tears. This time, she couldn't deny the statement this appariation said.

After all these years, she still loved him. Mikoto has always been in her heart even with the guilt that accompanied it. She still love him even if the weight of killing someone very precious is too great to handle.

_He's still in her heart_ \--

It's a week after Seri visited again and it proved to be surprising that within that span of time, Reisi noticeably came back a little.

She couldn't help but stare. There was this air of happiness swirling around the bluenette.

It's as if THAT man came back from the dead.

"You are happy, Taichou. What brought this on?" Seri asked one afternoon.

All she received was a smile that brought forth tears to her eyes yet she refused to let it go so as not to worry her ex-captain.

"I'm just truly happy, Awashima-kun. Is it weird?"

"Ah! No no. I'm just glad you're finally gaining some color."

"Is that so?" Reisi redirected her gaze to the puzzle she's been working on with the soft smile still on her lips.

There are things better kept a secret especially when you know no one will believe you, especially if your secret is that your happiness is merely a ghost of the past.

The week that followed, Reisi received an envelope that bore a letter and a wedding picture.

She stared at the photo with happiness and longing. Fushimi looked nice for once in his white suit. Nothing too fancy, nothing too heavy. The only design on his suit was the brooch of Scepter 4's vice captain, signifying his current position.

The bride, Yata Misaki, was more ornate and complicated. Her dress was the traditional white. It's an off-the-shoulder dress that had black laces around the hems. The bodice was painfully plain but it complimented the skirt in which was decorated with gems of topaz that went down with the long trail that disappeared behind her back. She wore a gold choker on her neck and small butterfly earrings on her ears.

Her make-up isn't thick but Reisi could see the faintest hint of orange on her eyelids and the soft pink blush-on on her supple cheeks.

There was a tinge of jealousy the longer she stared.

If they hadn't been appointed into kings then maybe, just maybe, she could also experience what Yata Misaki felt during her special moment.

She would also wear a dress and walk down the aisle. She would see Mikoto waiting by the altar with a smile he never used on anyone but her.

_But it's all a dream._

She could only dream and wish that he'd come back again.

Not willing to let go of the picture, she opened the letter with her other hand and read:

**_To my ex-captain, Munakata Reisi,_ **

**_I wasn't expecting anything when Awashima-taichou told me she informed you about my wedding. Your well-wish caused me great joy, Taichou._ **

**_I'm sorry if I couldn't visit you. I may sound out of character but I'm scared. Scared to see you become like Suoh Mikoto. If only we noticed sooner but I guess it's too late for regrets now._ **

**_Awashima-taichou might not mention but she's getting married to Kusanagi Izumo this June. Please don't tell her I mentioned it._ **

**_I hope you also find your happiness, Taichou. You deserve more than us._ **

**_With love and respect,_ **

**_Fushimi Saruhiko and Yata Misaki_ **

That's when a warm presence engulfed her and pulled her out from her thoughts.

_'So they're finally married, huh?'_

A nod but not a verbal answer. Reisi continued staring at the photo while discarding the letter.

' _Maybe someday we could get married too._ '

A ghost of a smile lit her lips, "You think so?"

' _Yes..._ '

The next day, Fushimi received a letter enveloped in a familiar blue. Even without a name he could easily recognize who's it from.

_**To my dear Fushimi,** _

_**I finally found my happiness. Thank you for everything.** _

_**With love,** _

_**Munakata Reisi** _

It was the first and last letter he received from her.

Fushimi found out that that very same day; Seri was called by the asylum where Reisi has been kept for months and was told that she was found dead on her bed. The pills overflowing from her right hand proved that she overdosed herself.

The only other evidence they found was a letter in blue paper.

**_He never left me in the first place. I was the one who missed my happiness because of the sadness I took when HE died in my hands. Now that HE came back for me, I decided I'll pursue my happiness just like what Awashima-kun and Fushimi did._ **

**_Mikoto loved me all the same._ **

**_-Munakata Reisi_ **

What people failed to see was two souls, hands linked and smiling at each other.

The man has a distinguishable red shock of hair. His eyes were the brilliant gold that shone under the bright light. He wore a white suit, the only color of attention was his red cravat that snugly rested on his chest.

The woman, on the other hand, has beautiful locks of night-blue hair and eyes like the amethyst in its finest glory. She wore a lovely dress in the shade of pristine white. It was strapless yet the ribbon that adorned the hem of the top made it outstanding with all its beautiful azure gems.

As they walked towards the light, the expression on their faces was indescribable.

It's as if they're going home after decades of waiting.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note (May 28, 2014):
> 
> How long was this again? XD I started this oneshot in the last semester in school. When did I finish? A month and a half into vacation. XD I wanted to make this VERY short but it became a full pledged oneshot all of a sudden! What happened?
> 
> I want to say that I only do this during waiting hours in whatever I'm waiting for. Like now, for instance, I'm waiting for my turn for the college interview. It's soo long that I finally got my peace of mind and finished this. T.T
> 
> So sorry if Reisi's angsty here. I just want to try my hands on something I'm not an expert in. This was born from reading a fanfic almost similar to this but I added a few tweaks.
> 
> Surprised? Reisi was in an asylum all along. Her case isn't that far along. She was put there because she kept seeing people that doesn't exist which was in actuality, spirits wandering.
> 
> 6/21/2020 Author's note:
> 
> I have started the process of exporting all my Wattpad works to AO3. I wasn't able to do this a decade ago because we had no PC and it's hard to copy paste most of my works from Wattpad (I typed my works using the mobile app) with all the technicalities I have to fill out in here. Haha! But now, we've got a PC and I'm trying my best to get everything here.   
> I have no beta, so I'm trying to check all my grammar lapses and spelling errors as much as possible. The majority is unedited since my writing prowess back then is much more desirable than now :u:


End file.
